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Get startedPersonality Disorder: Understand, Support and Promote Long-Term Change
Personality disorders involve enduring patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving that significantly differ from cultural expectations and cause distress or difficulties in relationships, work or everyday life. These patterns are usually long-standing, beginning in adolescence or early adulthood, and affect a person's sense of self, emotional regulation and ability to relate to others.
Reviewed by Phillipa Brown, AHPRA-registered Psychologist
Understanding personality disorder.
Personality disorders involve enduring patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving that significantly differ from cultural expectations and cause distress or difficulties in relationships, work or everyday life. These patterns are usually long-standing, beginning in adolescence or early adulthood, and affect a person's sense of self, emotional regulation and ability to relate to others.
While the term "personality disorder" can sound confronting, it is important to remember that these are recognised mental health conditions. They are treatable, and with the right support, people can learn new ways to relate, respond and live fulfilling lives.
What is a Personality Disorder
A personality disorder is diagnosed when someone has persistent and inflexible patterns of behaviour and inner experience that deviate from social norms. These patterns affect the way a person:
- Thinks about themselves and others
- Feels and responds emotionally
- Relates to people and forms relationships
- Controls their impulses and behaviours
There are several types of personality disorders, commonly grouped into three clusters:
Cluster A (odd or eccentric): Includes paranoid, schizoid and schizotypal personality disorders.
Cluster B (dramatic or emotional): Includes borderline, narcissistic, histrionic and antisocial personality disorders.
Cluster C (anxious or fearful): Includes avoidant, dependent and obsessive compulsive personality disorders.
Each person's experience is different. Some may show traits of more than one type, and others may not fit neatly into a category.
What Causes Personality Disorders
Personality disorders are believed to arise from a complex combination of factors:
- Genetics and temperament
- Early life experiences, including trauma, neglect or abuse
- Attachment disruptions or inconsistent parenting
- Environmental stressors in childhood or adolescence
- Brain development and emotional regulation difficulties
These conditions are not a personal failing or something a person chooses. They are shaped by a mix of inherited and life factors, and most people with a personality disorder have experienced significant early life adversity.
Common Signs and Challenges
Personality disorders vary widely, but common experiences may include:
- Intense and unstable emotions
- Difficulty trusting others or forming close relationships
- Fear of abandonment or rejection
- Impulsive behaviours or self-harm
- Persistent feelings of emptiness or low self-worth
- Black and white thinking or shifting views of others
- Trouble maintaining jobs or social roles
- Conflict with others due to rigid thinking or behaviour
These patterns often lead to distress not only for the person but also for their loved ones. Many people with personality disorders experience repeated crises or long-standing feelings of disconnection.
Myths about Personality Disorders
Myth: People with personality disorders are manipulative or dangerous
Truth: This stigma is harmful and false. Most people with personality disorders are trying to manage overwhelming internal experiences and deserve compassion and care.
Myth: Personality disorders cannot be treated
Truth: While change may take time, therapy can be highly effective. Many people with personality disorders experience significant improvements in relationships and functioning.
Myth: Only certain types, like borderline or narcissistic, are real disorders
Truth: All personality disorders are recognised by clinical criteria. Each presents unique challenges and requires tailored support.
Why Seeking Help Matters
Without support, personality disorders can contribute to:
- Chronic relationship problems
- Risk of self-harm or suicidal thoughts
- Workplace or academic difficulties
- Ongoing emotional distress and social isolation
With professional help, individuals can:
- Understand the roots of their patterns and behaviours
- Learn new emotional and relational skills
- Improve self-worth and personal identity
- Strengthen resilience and reduce crisis episodes
- Build healthier, more fulfilling relationships
How MeHelp Psychology Can Assist You
We provide structured and compassionate care for people experiencing personality-related difficulties. Our psychologists are trained in evidence-based approaches and offer:
- Comprehensive assessment and treatment planning
- Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) for emotional regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal effectiveness
- Schema Therapy to address deep-rooted patterns and early life beliefs
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for unhelpful thinking and behaviour patterns
- Trauma-informed care for those with histories of abuse or neglect
- Support for families and partners to improve understanding and communication
Real-Life Example
Josh, 27, had a history of unstable relationships, emotional outbursts and self-harm. He often felt abandoned and struggled to trust others. With ongoing DBT through MeHelp, Josh developed tools to manage intense emotions, build healthier connections and gradually improve his sense of self. He now reports fewer crisis episodes and a stronger sense of direction in life.
Practical Steps You Can Take Today
- Reflect on patterns that repeat in your relationships or emotional responses
- Journal your thoughts and feelings to increase self-awareness
- Learn about emotional regulation techniques such as breathing or grounding
- Focus on small, achievable changes rather than all-or-nothing goals
- Avoid self-blame and recognise the role of early experiences
- Reach out for professional support when you feel stuck or overwhelmed
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Can personality disorders really change? Yes. With the right support, people can develop insight, regulate emotions and form more stable relationships. Change is possible even when patterns have been present for many years.
Do you diagnose personality disorders at MeHelp? Yes. Our psychologists can assess personality functioning and help clarify whether your experiences align with a specific personality disorder. We do this carefully and with your consent.
Is medication used for personality disorders? Medication may be used to treat symptoms such as anxiety, depression or impulsivity, but therapy is the primary treatment for personality disorders.
Is therapy online effective for personality disorders? Yes. Many of our clients benefit from online therapy, especially when sessions are structured and focused on skills development and long-term change.
Take the First Step
Living with a personality disorder can feel lonely and overwhelming, but change is possible. With support, you can better understand yourself, build emotional stability and create meaningful connections.
Book a confidential session with MeHelp Psychology today and begin your path toward healing and self-discovery.
What causes personality disorder?
There's rarely one single cause. Most of the time, personality disorder develops from a mix of life experiences, biology, and the environment a person grew up in. Stressful events, family history, and how someone learned to cope with big feelings as a child all play a part.
Understanding the "why" doesn't make the experience smaller — but it can take some of the self-blame out of it. What you're going through makes sense, given everything that came before it.
A psychologist can help you join the dots between what's happened in your life and what you're feeling now — and start to shift the patterns gently.
Supporting someone going through personality disorder.
Watching someone you care about struggle with personality disorder is hard. You might feel helpless, worried, or unsure of what to say. That's normal.
You can help by:
- Listening without trying to fix or rush them
- Taking what they say seriously, even when it's hard to hear
- Asking what kind of support would actually help today
- Looking after your own wellbeing too — you can't pour from an empty cup
- Encouraging professional support without pressuring them
If you're the one supporting them, you're allowed to seek your own therapy too — it doesn't take anything away from them.
The emotional impact is real.
The feelings below are common with personality disorder. They're not signs that something is wrong with you — they're signs of what you've been carrying.
Anxiety and feeling on edge. Always scanning for the next thing to go wrong. Hard to switch off.
Self-doubt. Second-guessing your decisions, memory, or read of the situation.
Low mood and tiredness. Tasks that used to feel easy take far more effort than they used to.
Shame. A sense that other people are coping better than you are. Shame eases in the right company.
Numbness or distance. Feeling foggy, disconnected, or like you're watching life from a step back.
Sleep changes. Trouble falling asleep, waking at 3am, or sleeping far more than usual.
You don't need a formal diagnosis to take what you're feeling seriously. The impact is real.
Why recovery takes time.
Healing from personality disorder is rarely a straight line. It moves in waves — clear one week, harder the next, then quieter again. That isn't a setback. That's the shape of healing.
Good therapy won't push you faster than you're ready to go. Pacing — not pressure — is how this work moves. Small, steady steps add up.
When to seek help.
You might consider seeing a psychologist if you notice any of the following:
- Personality Disorder is affecting your work, study, or relationships
- You've been trying to cope on your own and it isn't shifting
- Sleep, appetite, or energy have been off for weeks
- You're using alcohol or other things to take the edge off
- A friend, family member, or GP has suggested you talk to someone
- You just want a space to make sense of what's going on
If you're in crisis right now
Call 000 if you or someone else is in danger. Lifeline on 13 11 14 is open 24/7. For family or domestic abuse, 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.
Treatment that works.
The most evidence-based help for personality disorder is talk therapy. Different approaches suit different goals — your psychologist will tailor things to you.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Works with the thoughts and behaviours keeping things stuck. Strong evidence across many conditions.
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Helps you make room for hard feelings while still moving toward what matters to you.
Trauma-informed therapy
EMDR, schema therapy, and IFS help process past experiences gently, without re-traumatising.
Mindfulness-based approaches
Builds the ability to notice what's going on inside without getting swept up in it.
Schema and psychodynamic therapy
Works with longer-standing patterns from early life that show up in adult relationships.
Medication where helpful
Sometimes prescribed by your GP alongside therapy. Always your choice.
Talk to an Australian psychologist about personality disorder.
Every MeHelp psychologist is AHPRA-registered and Australian-trained. Sessions are online, bulk billed under Medicare where eligible, and available evenings and weekends.
AHPRA-registered
Every psychologist is Australian-trained and regulated.
Bulk billing available
Under Medicare with a Mental Health Treatment Plan.
Same-week appointments
Not three months on a public waiting list.
Evenings and weekends
Sessions fit around your schedule, online from home.
How to access support.
Most clients use a Mental Health Treatment Plan and signed referral so sessions can be bulk-billed under Medicare. NDIS, DVA, and private options are also available.
Book a GP appointment
Ask your GP for a mental health consultation. A longer appointment is best so there's time to talk through what's going on.
What do I do at the GP?Get your plan and referral
Your GP can prepare a Mental Health Treatment Plan and signed referral letter. MeHelp needs both before bulk-billed sessions can begin.
See documents requiredSend it to MeHelp
Upload your documents to our secure folder, email them, or ask your GP to fax them. We'll match you with a psychologist.
Send my planFrequently asked questions about personality disorder.
Ready to talk to a psychologist?
Same-week appointments. Bulk billing available. Online across Australia.
With a referral, or without.
Both get you to the same place — an AHPRA-registered psychologist, online. The difference is cost and a GP visit.
With a Medicare referral
Bulk billed — nothing to pay.
- Up to 10 sessions a calendar year
- Needs a GP Mental Health Treatment Plan + referral
- We bill Medicare directly
Without a referral
Pay privately — no GP required.
- No GP visit, no referral
- No session limit — go at your pace
- Often a first session this week
- Completely private — nothing shared